The Setting
The great sage Yajnavalkya had two wives - Katyayani, who was interested in worldly matters, and Maitreyi, who was spiritually inclined. When Yajnavalkya decided to renounce worldly life and enter the forest for meditation, he called both wives to divide his property.
The Question That Changed Everything
Yajnavalkya: Maitreyi, I am about to renounce this household life. Let me make a final settlement between you and Katyayani.
Maitreyi: My lord, if this whole earth filled with wealth were mine, would I be immortal through that?
Yajnavalkya: No. Your life would be like that of the wealthy. Through wealth there is no hope of immortality.
Maitreyi: Then what should I do with that which will not make me immortal? Tell me, my lord, what you know about the way to immortality.
Yajnavalkya: You have always been dear to me, and now you speak what is dear to my heart. Come, sit down. I will explain, and you must reflect deeply on what I say.
The Teaching on Love and the Self
Yajnavalkya: Truly, not for the sake of the husband, my dear, is the husband loved, but for the sake of the Self is the husband loved.
Not for the sake of the wife is the wife loved, but for the sake of the Self is the wife loved.
Not for the sake of children are children loved, but for the sake of the Self are children loved.
Not for the sake of wealth is wealth desired, but for the sake of the Self is wealth desired.
Not for the sake of the gods are the gods worshipped, but for the sake of the Self are the gods worshipped.
Not for the sake of creatures are creatures dear, but for the sake of the Self are creatures dear.
Not for the sake of all is all loved, but for the sake of the Self is all loved.
The Self, Maitreyi, should be realized - should be heard of, reflected on, and meditated upon. When the Self is seen, heard, reflected upon, and known, all this becomes known.
The Loss of Duality
Maitreyi: But my lord, how can I understand this? Please explain further.
Yajnavalkya: As a lump of salt thrown into water dissolves and cannot be taken out again, yet wherever we taste the water it is salty, so does this great, endless, infinite Reality, this mass of consciousness - arising out of these elements, vanish into them again.
There is no consciousness after death. This is what I say, my dear.
Maitreyi: Now I am bewildered, my lord! I do not understand how there can be no consciousness after death.
Yajnavalkya: I am not saying anything bewildering. This is quite sufficient for knowledge.
Where there is duality, as it were, there one sees another, one smells another, one tastes another, one speaks to another, one hears another, one thinks of another, one touches another, one knows another.
But where everything has become the Self alone, who is to be seen by what? Who is to be smelled by what? Who is to be tasted by what? Who is to be spoken to by what? Who is to be heard by what? Who is to be thought of by what? Who is to be touched by what? Who is to be known by what?
By what should one know That by which all this is known? By what, my dear Maitreyi, should one know the Knower?
The Deeper Understanding
Why Do We Love Anything?
Yajnavalkya’s teaching reveals a profound truth: We don’t actually love the other person, object, or experience for their own sake. We love them because, in their presence, we experience happiness, peace, or fulfillment.
That happiness we feel is actually the Self (Atman) shining through. It’s like:
- A husband doesn’t love his wife because of her qualities, but because in her presence he experiences joy - which is actually his own Self
- A mother doesn’t love her child for the child, but for the happiness (Self) she experiences
- We don’t pursue wealth for the wealth, but for the security and happiness (Self) we hope it will bring
What Yajnavalkya Is Really Saying
The apparent love for external objects is really love for the Self reflected in those objects.
When we think “I love this person,” what we really mean is: “In the presence of this person, I experience my own Self more fully, I taste my own Being, I am happy.”
Happiness is not in the object - it is the Self shining through our experience of the object.
The Mystery of Consciousness After Death
When Yajnavalkya says “there is no consciousness after death,” Maitreyi is confused. But he explains:
In the state of non-duality (pure Self), there is no subject-object division. There is no “someone” who is conscious “of something.”
Consciousness as we know it (subject knowing object) exists only in duality. When duality dissolves in the realization of the Self, there is no individual consciousness - there is only the Self, which is pure awareness itself.
It’s like salt dissolved in water:
- Before dissolution: separate salt, separate water (duality)
- After dissolution: no separate salt to point to, yet everywhere is salty (non-duality)
Similarly:
- In ignorance: separate self, separate objects (duality, individual consciousness)
- In knowledge: only the Self, everywhere (non-duality, pure awareness without subject-object split)
The Impossibility of Knowing the Knower
“By what should one know the Knower?”
This is the ultimate point. The Self cannot be known as an object because:
- Whatever you know is an object
- The Self is the eternal Subject, the Knower
- The Knower cannot be objectified, cannot be made into something known
- You cannot step outside the Self to observe it, because there is no “outside”
You cannot see your own eyes (without a mirror). Similarly, you cannot “know” the Self as an object. You can only BE the Self - which you already are.
The Revolutionary Implication
This teaching demolishes our usual understanding of love and relationship:
We Think:
- “I love this person because they are wonderful”
- “This possession makes me happy”
- “I need this relationship to be fulfilled”
The Truth:
- All love is love of the Self
- All happiness comes from the Self alone
- Nothing external can give you what you already are
This Doesn’t Mean:
- Be cold or indifferent to others
- Reject relationships
- Abandon love
It Means:
- Recognize the true source of happiness (the Self within)
- Love from wholeness, not from neediness
- See the Self in all beings
- Your happiness doesn’t depend on externals - it IS your nature
The Path Shown
Yajnavalkya’s prescription:
- Hear the teaching about the Self (Shravana)
- Reflect on it deeply (Manana)
- Meditate on it (Nididhyasana)
- Realize it directly
When the Self is realized, all is known - because the Self is the reality of all.
Key Insights
On Love: All love, affection, and desire is actually the Self loving itself through apparent others. The joy you feel in love is the Self recognizing itself.
On Knowledge: Trying to know the Self as an object is impossible. You cannot know the Knower. You can only be it - which you already are.
On Immortality: Wealth, relationships, worldly achievements - none of these grant immortality. Only Self-knowledge reveals that you are already immortal.
On Non-Duality: In the ultimate state, there is no separate consciousness. Only the Self exists, appearing as all this.
On Relationship: This teaching doesn’t negate love or relationship. It shows their true source and prevents the suffering that comes from seeking happiness in objects.
“Not for the sake of the husband is the husband loved, but for the sake of the Self is the husband loved. The Self, my dear Maitreyi, should be realized - should be heard of, reflected on, and meditated upon. When the Self is known, all is known.”
— Brihadaranyaka Upanishad 2.4
The Practical Application
In Daily Life:
When you feel love, joy, or peace in the presence of someone or something, recognize: “This happiness I feel is not coming from the external object. It is my own Self, temporarily revealed because my mind has become quiet in this moment.”
In Relationships:
Love the Self in all beings. When you love your spouse, child, or friend, know that you are loving the same Self that you are. This makes love more universal, less possessive, more free.
In Seeking:
Stop seeking happiness in objects, achievements, or relationships. Turn within. The happiness you seek everywhere else is your own nature, always present, never absent.
Maitreyi’s question - “What use is wealth if it does not make me immortal?” - is the question every serious seeker must ask. Yajnavalkya’s answer points beyond all external seeking to the Self, which alone is immortal, infinite, and the source of all love and happiness.